Doctors

A doctor is nothing more than a drug dealer with a college degree . It should also be noted that doctors are paid to be cruel and are frequently torture hobbyists, who like to poke people with sharp objects, administer nasty tasting medications, give enemas, and do other things that cause previously normal people to look like trees and feel like potential violent criminals. In fact, the people they treat are called "patients" for putting up with their sadistic experiments and cruel acts. A more accurate term is victims. A doctor has to say a "hypocritical oath," which means that they can nag you about your own eating habits while being a lardass him/herself. So, forget about anatomy and forget about diseases - if you're really ill, don't waste your money; pop some DayQuills and a GinTonic and you're far better off. Doctors should ONLY be consulted when you need to get high. So, now to the essentials - how to get cheap dope from 'em. Often, doctors give head to patients to ease their pain and distract their mind from seeing minge.

DOCTORS HATE THEIR PATIENTS

You need to understand and embrace this concept. I have personally heard doctors referring  to their patients as "hoopleheads" and "that A-hole out in the waiting room." The sooner you come to terms with this the quicker you will understand the concept of "the rectal exam" as well as other painful medical procedures. You really don't think they know how much it hurts? They've gone to college longer than you've been alive - of course they know it hurts. Thats why they do it. Aside from that, it's a smashing good way to make a living if anyone happen to be sadistic by nature. 

Doctors like to hurt you, and here are some tools of their trade:

• Rubber gloves. They are the worst because when you hear them snap on, you almost scream in fear.

• Speculum. Females know about this one! It is a tool made for causing pain. And, the doctor uses this tool while wearing rubber gloves!

• Needles. You are laying on the exam table and you feel a chill as you see the gloves go on. You begin to sweat in fear as the doctor prepares you for the injection. He tells you to relax and that you will not feel a thing. Then he stabs your ass with a three inch needle. Yeah...

• Proctoscope. Guys, you know what I am talking about...

The Doctors Will....

• give you zombifying drugs helping you stand a few more crappy years in a lethal environment

• prescribe painful, rectally administered procedures

• Tell you to relax and that you won't feel a thing, then hurt you so bad you scream in pain

When the Doctor is wrong

if this is the case and they have diagnosed you incorrectly therefore given you the wrong medication, then you will either die or suffer from ihatedoctors syndrome.