Its Time

The first rewinded example of Time was found in a number spoken by Billie Piper in 1873, in which she described being early for a breakfast party. Unfortunately she was never given any cash for this discovery until long after her death in 1654.
 Einstein put a lot of pepper into trying to find the sauce of time and to try and collect time itself. He used an apparatus similar to an empty hourglass which collected time in the bottom. Unfortunately, before Einstein finished his experiment, his pet cat, Mr. Tiggles, knocked the hourglass over and this time was released.


A Brief history of time
Time can be divided into 10 distinct periods.


The Caveman Period
And the LORD hath sayeth, "Let there be man and boy, and let them attempt to populate the land that I hath createth." And so was created Oscar Wilde and some blonde boy named Chad. And they had sexual relations and had 16,384 children, somehow, thus creating the first country, Chad. Chad (the boy) banished Oscar Wilde to the barren wastelands of  and the family left Chad (the country) becuase there is NOTHING in Chad. Except for diseases like Aids and other STD's. They fled to Egypt to seek a more productive life because Chad had NOTHING. This period of time was known as the Caveman Period, but is considered incorrect because they did not live in caves as there are no caves in Chad. As a matter of fact, there is NOTHING in Chad.
The Egyptian Period
And so Chad, who had grown up, and his family lived in Egypt and built pyramids for unknown reasons. Many scientists suggest that they were used to store topaz or possibly urine samples, but the general concensus is that they were built as a monument to the god of the Rain, because it doesn't rain in Egypt. Or Chad. Actually, there is NOTHING in Chad. By now the population was around 100,000 and a bird.
The Greek Period
The Greek Period began when Chad and some of his descendants sailed across the Mediterranean Sea of Pee and founded Greece. Greece is actually a corruption of the Chaddish word Grease, which is the only thing the Greeks had for lube. However, the discovery of lube brought about the discovery of homosexuality which became a popular pastime in Greece. Chad died of homosexuality on December 25th, 1 A.D. which coincidentally coincided with the birth of Jesus and the invention of Christianity. All this turmoil threw time into the Dark Ages, or the Medieval Period.
The Medieval Period
The Medieval Period was begun by Pope Asparagus I who outlawed homosexuality. This enraged many people and birds and especially Satan. This created the Crusades. Once the Homosexuals found the Holy Grail, the Crusades ended and the Pope melted. The end of the Medieval Period gave rise to the Renaissance Period.
The Renaissance Period
The Renaissance began when the ways of ancient Greece were revived. This is why many nude statues were made during that time. It is also common knowledge that Michelangelo was gay. When Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean yellow and discovered Texas, everyone began relocating to Texas for unknown reasons. This lead to the Cowboy Period.
The Cowboy Period
It is common knowledge that everyone in West is a cowboy now they are bikers.  The cowboys rode around on their horses and often each other until the Nazis declared war on them.
The Nazi Period
The Nazis, led by Hitler, fought the cowboys because were jealous of the cowboys' hats. The French tried to defend the cowboys in battle but of course lost every battle. The unfortunate defeat of the cowboys led to the Female Period.
The Female Period
The Female Period lasted about five days and was the most terrible era in history, characterized by the dreaded PMS, or Poop-in-the-Mail Service.
The Modern Period
The Modern Period began with the invention of bubble warp in England and the reincarnation of Chad. Also electricity was discovered, but that is less important. We currently live in the Modern Period. Chad got a job as a lifeguard in his spare time. 
The Apocalyptic Period
The Lost boys tell us that the world will end when Manmohan singh says shut up to sonia gandhi. However, we can rest assured that this will not happen for a very, VERY long time.



Bad Things about Time
Time is a mass murderer. It has killed more people than any other entity, other than perhaps Bin Laden or George Bush. A reward of 100000000 has been placed on the head of time. This is metaphorically explored in the film The curious case of benjamin button
Time is probably tough and indestructible. I tell ya I ain't never seen anybody go up against time and make it out of the OK Corral alive.


Good Thing about Time
F***...
Time is a mass murderer. It has killed more people than any other entity, other than perhaps Bill Gates.
The recent discovery of the first cuboid planet has provided strong evidence that time is brown.
If time is money, and time is just the fourth dimension of space, considering the entire universe... HOLY SHIT THATS A LOT OF MONEY.


Notation of Time

There are only two ways to note time:
24h-system: A day has 24 hours, much more than only 12.
12h-system: A day is divided in only 12 hours, but there are two kinds of days which alternate, dark ones and bright ones. To see if it's dark or bright, there are two letters on the clocks "am" and "pm". These stand for "Amazing Mandarin" and "Putrid Mandarin." It's unknown who invented the terms, but that individual was clearly intoxicated at the time.
A 24h-day begins at 00:00 and ends at 24:00 which is actually the same. A 12h-day begins at 01:00 am/pm as am/pm is changing then. Intelligent people use the 24h-system, as they can count higher than a dozen. Consequently, fat people also can count higher than a dozen, and use the 24hr system-as well. Studies have shown that idiots with not enough time use the 12hr-System because they believe 2 12hr days are better than only 1 24hr days. There is a reason we call them idiots.
It is said that the day would have 36 hours, but the gods thought it would be very funny to watch people running around everyday.



Other Theories about Time and its Relations

There have been Theories that time does not really exist. This is because in order to measure time, you need a clock. In order for that clock to work, it has to exercise some kind of movement, therefore time is dependent on Movement, and not the other way around. Therefore Time=Movement and Movement=Time. Quite simple actually, take following example for example just to put one example:

If there was no movement, then a clock could not work and therefore it could not measure time and therefore time would not exist anymore. This is the ultimate Proof that Time does indeed not exist. Movement is the real 4th dimension. Time is just the Result if you put the 3 dimensions together with Movement.

So basically if you want to know what Time(Movement) it is, you would have to ask: excuse me, would you mind telling me what Movement it is? instead of excuse me, would you mind telling me what Time it is?

TIME has an integral part in the proof that Girls are Evil. Without TIME's part in all this, girls would still be sugar and spice and everything nice.

• The Proof

Now we all know that:

and that

Time = Money

therefore

Now we all know that:

 ()

Therefore:

and

Girls = Evil

Friendship

Friendship is a vague human concept based on mutually beneficial interactions between two entities. Two humans are said to achieve friendship if they have amicable relations or intimacies. However, it is theorised that friendships are not limited solely to humans, and despite denials by the UN, tales of these interspecies still exist. Often confused with friendship, the Friend Ship is a popular medium of transport in European countries. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis.

Why Is Friendship Important???

Yes, they are. Without them, you would sink into the eternal pits of hell, where you would wallow in self-pity until the apocalypse. Many people without friends find life to be unbearable and often resort to suicide or worse. Scientists have been unable to pinpoint the exact purpose of friendship, but it is widely believed in the scientific community that friendsips repel black holes. However, some radicals link friendships and their subsequent carbon emissions to global warming. Many of these "scientists" have been burned at the stake for their heresy, but the theory is still prevalent in Some countries. Also, friendships serve as the only working currency in Algeria.

Non-Human Friendship

Although humans are the only beings thought to experience friendship, there have been several reported cases of friendship in cats. The first sighting of this was in Texas in 1997, when a local shopkeeper saw cats who she said were "Jackin' each other." The American government have vehemently denied reports that friendship exists in cats. George Bush addressed the issue in November 2006, saying, "If cats could be friends they wouldn't have to lick their own asses." Further controversy was sparked in 2001 when a man in Arizona claimed that he had experienced inter-species friendship with a cat. He claimed that his cat 'Nixon' would rub off him in a promiscuous manner as if trying to initiate friendship. The man was subsequently executed for his comments, which were seen as treasonous. This provides further evidence against the idea of interspecies friendships.

Let's Just Be Friends

"Let's just be friends" has been a popular excuse to not date someone since the early 1800s. It is generally used by females though a man will occasionally say it. Scientists and theologists are still pondering it's meaning when used by non-hetero guys, but thanks to a recent study in the female language, we have been able to roughly translate it from girl speak to plain English.

Let's just be friends "Well, I'm really hot, and you're just not as hot as me. So I want to keep you around for a while so I can torture you with all the stories of the men who are hotter than you that I sleep with. But I still love you, just not in the way you love me. But I would get you high, so I could sleep with you then deny it."

The same research tends to prove that straight guys who say the 4 magic words really are trying to tell girls: "You are so ugly I would never ... EVER ... sleep with you." Meanwhile German scientist claim this is not entirely false, but would be more accurately translated into: "I doubt even my dog would hump you... !!"

Answer from a DOC...

After reading my article on doctors one of the doctor i know told me the insight of doctors!! though nerds they seem fun so y dont i put it in her words..

It’s high time people realised that doctors, like the general population are “normal human beings”!!

There are various ways a person ends up getting into M.B.B.S,

·         Out of interest in acquiring knowledge about the human body and science of medicine.

·         To render social service, to save lives.

·         In compulsion, pressure from the parents, peers, siblings, etc.

It is indeed very rare to find a person getting into medicine with an ambition to earn money, because “quick money” is not possible in the land of medicine. Not that doctors don’t earn money, they do earn pretty much mind you, but it’s a slow and steady process, which takes a lot of patience and patients!!

“Money making” however becomes the top priority in  a doctor’s life as they go ahead from  becoming an M.B.B.S graduate to post graduates to super specialists and so on and so forth.(the process never ends)

There are a few things one has to keep in mind before getting into medicine that is, they should have ;

·         A lot of money or an ability to carry on the debts till one finishes studies, which mind you will take a long time.

·         Time, age and patience to wait.

·         Interest which tends to diminish with time.

·         To have the eagerness for continuous learning throughout their lives.

·         To combat stress, difficulties, to face and learn from your mistakes.

·         To be responsible for oneself and one’s every act.

·         To learn to let go off one’s ego most of the times.

As a person undergoes the training to become a doctor, he/she realises that money actually is a great deal in life after all, because he/she’s drowned in debts, and by the time he/she graduates to start earning to repay his debts, all of his peers are well settled and enjoying. Because of his age factor he has to earn fast and make a living, he has to start off somewhere which needs money again. And the process of continuous learning also needs a great deal of money. (The books itself cost a fortune).

The motto “live to serve” can be followed only if the person lives, which again needs money. Its mere stupidity to blame a doctor for asking money from the patient, after all they are trying to earn their bread and butter too. As for the cost of medicines, it’s not the doctor’s fault right? The cost of the radiological equipments, the operating instruments, the maintenance, all of it requires money again.

Well, and for those who think that “doctors are drug dealers with degree certificates from college” well, I’d say it’s either your ignorance or arrogance or just stupidity to think like that.

A doctor is not God! The reason for their extraordinary patience is because they are so immuned to the behaviour and antiques of the patients that they don’t tend to loose their nerve so easily.

Do you know that educated patients   are the silliest patience a doctor can have? Because they ask such obvious silly questions and behave so child like manner. For instance, here are some the silly questions they ask;

·         “Will it pain”?? When a doctor wants to give in injection.

·         The lady comes for an antenatal check up for her second pregnancy, when asked to produce her scan reports, she says “I forgot to bring it this time, can the previous pregnancy’s scan report do??”

·         “How can my blood pressure be high today? I took the tablet just yesterday”!

·         “How can it be girl? The last child was a girl so this time it has to be a boy right?!”

·         “why did you not inform us before that he’d get heart attack today, we could have called all our relatives”

One common and understandable question asked by almost everyone is, “when will I get cured, will I be fit as normal? How much time will it take to heal?” for this I have to tell you that every human body is as different from each other as their finger print, and their response to treatment varies too, so no doctor can be sure about their treatment. Well that’s why they call a doctor’s work as practice I suppose.

Why medicine is considered a very respectable profession?

Well, because here they deal with lives, as usual. I’m not saying that other profession is any less. Every profession has its own value. An engineer for example also deals with millions of lives, only in an indirect way.

This reminds me of a story where a mechanic asks a cardiologist, “what’s the difference between me and you? You deal with t heart that runs the body and I repair the engine that runs a car? Then why are you paid so high?” for which the doctor replies, “try repairing the engine when its running and without letting it get off while repairing it” now that’s one way to look at it.

Doctors are meant to be perfect; they cannot afford to do any kind of mistake. They have a humungous responsibility not only of the patient but of every person who is connected to the patient also. But then, a doctor is after all a human being, in some rare cases a doctor does a mistake, either in analysing a situation or in negligence of a case. But like I said, it’s rare.

Why all the documentation?

There has been a huge hue and cry about registration of a case before taking any action. But it’s due to the public and the laws which have led to this situation.

I remember my senior telling me about this case which happened during his undergraduate days when a critically ill case who needed immediate operation came to the casualty, the duty doctor without any documentation and delay explained the situation and need for operational intervention to the bystanders and ordered to shift the patient  to operation theatre. The bystanders agreed. But unfortunately the patient expired on the way to the theatre. And just because of improper documentation, the bystanders refused to have been asked for any opinion and filed a case against the doctor and literally destroyed the whole hospital into bits and pieces.

I remember another case where in a little girl who had a major abdominal infection was getting operated, but during the operation the surgeon realised that the focus of infection was from the girl’s uterus and the girl could be saved only if her uterus was removed, so he went ahead and removed it. On realising this parents filed a case on the doctor accusing him for spoiling the girl’s life. They however didn’t win the case, but then this is an example which shows how much important a small documentation is. There are hundred other cases like this, which puts the doctor’s job in risk, so they need to maintain the records and consider that before taking any action on any case.

I would not generalise these statements though. Because I know many doctors who have been a shame to the profession. Who follow unethical practices, who work for only money and have selfish intentions in their treatment. And I have also seen many doctors also who resist the greed of money and work for mere service and satisfaction for serving the mankind. So there are people of every spectrum present in the community.

But somehow it’s a human tendency have satisfaction by making fun of other’s misery, or somehow make a joke out of successful people. Like the saying goes, “the tree with the sweetest fruits gets hit by the maximum number of stones”.

So when I googled “doctors” in the internet, I realised there a zillion articles and blogs on doctors, and almost all of them are the ones making fun of., and swearing at doctors. So I realised one thing, these articles are written by:-

 People who are unemployed, jobless, have no insight, and are jealous of the success of doctors.

· People who are so insecure about their job that they feel inferior to this noble profession.

·People who have no respect what-so-ever for either their profession or any other profession.

· People who have been blinded by the mere un-intelligent conclusions drawn from the various situations encountered.

· People who want to follow the crowd because of inability to make an opinion of their own.

·  People who want gain popularity for their article by writing something that the public readers will relish and are mere cowards to write an honest opinion.

· T·hose unfortunate people who have actually had a bad experience with an un-ethically practising doctor.

 And the reasons why doctors don’t protest or write articles where they can explain about their lives and write the truth about the profession are because;

·   The doctors are too busy either studying or practising.

·   Doctors know their truth and don’t need to write it or explain it to the public as to why what and how they do things.

·    Everybody knows that no matter how much anyone mocks at the doctors, they are real heroes in their own ways, and people will have to come finally to their refuge to have a healthy life.